Today, standing on the last day of my 30s, I am looking back on the last decade. It was a time of great changes & life-altering decisions.
Trials, Tribulations & Transformations
When I quit the corporate sector, I boldly stepped into a void. I did not know where it would take me. But it took me down the road right for me – of editing and writing.
I sacrificed months of my life chasing a dream that was not mine. I battled what I now think was depression. I gave my heart to the only one who truly deserves it – my Fluffy monster.
I, regrettably, made peace with mediocre friendships & relationships where I would never be the priority. I saved people who did not know they needed to be saved. But, once saved, they walked right past me.
While loving people who did not even love themselves, I neglected myself. I gave years of my life waiting to be appreciated and desired. I wanted to be loved and valued.
The Tipping Point
Eventually, I turned around and said, “To hell with you! I’ll appreciate myself; I’ll love myself.” I deserved more. I could love, I could be loyal, I could do the right thing, but not at my expense.
Once this epiphany struck, I dried my tears. I found my Mahadev. I found my healing in walking. I turned to ‘gratitude’. I chose peace over ‘being right’. I chose ‘let go’ over being a ‘control freak’.
I chose ‘me-time’ and ‘solo travel’. I began to choose things that energized me instead of draining me. I chose silence when the world chose loudness.
Looking Ahead with Determination & Hope
As I turn 40 tomorrow, I promise myself a decade of growth. I will build on all my learning from my 30s. They were my most challenging years but also much fulfilling.
I vow to love myself more. I promise to not make the same mistakes. I vow to choose myself. But, most importantly, to start my journey from this earthly realm to something more profound.
Yes, my 40s will be a time to start moving towards my ultimate goal – at the feet of Mahadev!
2 responses to “Turning 40: A Decade of Self-Love and Healing”
“I chose ‘me-time’ and ‘solo travel’. I began to choose things that energized me instead of draining me. I chose silence when the world chose loudness” – this struck me as if am looking at report card of my past few years :)
However, this phase shall pass too! As they are definitely not the answer – this path will only disappoint you, once again. :)
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Hi, Akshar! Thank you for stopping by. I’m simultaneously glad and aggrieved that my post resonated with you. Troubled waters are what I wouldn’t wish on anyone and, yet, life is impossible without them.
You missed the most important path I mentioned in my post – Mahadev. As long as I have Him, I’m not going to get disappointed. I have placed my full faith in Him. Whatever He decides for me, I accept. :)
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