There are times when everything feels heavy. We find it difficult to do even those things that we love. We go in a state where we wonder about the pointlessness of everything. Can you recognize this weight that I’m alluding to?

On the surface, it seems most people have their lives sorted. But that’s seldom true. We start to speak with others. They start to share their stories.

Then we realize everyone has some or the other nagging concern. When people share their stories, we must rally in support. But not everyone who is angry/ distressed/ exhausted/ perplexed/ sad is a ‘sharer’.

For example, I’m not. I can share my happy moments but not the ones which have left me distressed/ perplexed. So, for those who aren’t sharers, how do we protect our mental health?

(I wrote a post – Complex Issues – in 2020, about our tendency to chatter on about happy things but clamming up on complicated matters. I’m guilty of the same.)

Of course, it’s naive to think that heavy times won’t recur. Shit always happens. Even if it’s not DIRECTLY to us, it can still weigh on our hearts and souls.

Especially when it concerns causes and people that we relate to. Everyone copes with these things differently; I respect that. But I want to share a few ways I cope when things feel heavy.

If you’re not a ‘sharing’ person, the things I mention here can work for you –

Get Off of Social Media

This is damn important. Social media is a tool for speaking out. But it gets too much at times. When we don’t feel like doing anything, we end up browsing social media even more.

But doom-scrolling has seldom helped anyone. For me, it’s always ended in a headache. So, I’ve switched off. And that’s definitely helped.

Cry, Cry, Cry

Crying is a good thing. I hate it when people say, “oh don’t cry!” Heck no! Cry. Crying is the most healthy and natural way to release emotions. Whenever I’ve felt like I NEEDED to cry, then I’ve definitely.

Seriously, it’s been cathartic!

Write About It

Ideally, I should ‘talk’ about it with someone. But, like I said before, I can’t bring myself to share verbally. But give me a paper & pen (or a digital medium) and my words start to flow.

Writing your experiences is one of the most underrated cathartic techniques. I hardly know anyone who has written her/ his way through grief/ trauma.

People worry that what they write won’t do justice to what they feel but that’s NOT the point! The point is to let your emotions flow. Our minds are chaotic.

When we start to give shape to our emotions/ thoughts, the chaos gets controlled. And this isn’t the same as talking to someone; this is a passive action.

Nobody will be nodding along or preaching to you in real time. Honestly, when you feel that heaviness, you don’t want someone adding to it. You don’t want someone trying to resolve it either.

At that time, we need to let our thoughts out. And also, nobody to say, “Oh I’m feeling this too!” I’m sorry but I don’t need to add your heaviness to mine!!

Do My Bit to Help

When things feel heavy, we can feel useless. I do. So, I like to help. Supporting charities is important to me. Doing my bit within my means has been a helpful way to lift that heaviness.

This has been as simple as signing a petition or donating my money.

Shake It Out

This is a little useful thing. It’s for when I feel I’ve got pent up negative energy in me. I must release this energy. I put on my favorite songs and shake it out for five minutes.

I start small, just shaking my legs. But as I get into it, I find myself shaking out my whole body. Emotions get stored in the body. That’s why this is useful.

I end up dancing by the end of it and actually getting sweaty! It’s all good!

Be Gentle with Myself

I also go the opposite way; be gentle with myself. So, instead of shaking it out, I’ve an afternoon nap. I drink tea. I listen to relaxing music. I meditate. I wear my comfiest clothes.

I go for a slow walk. And whatever else I need to find that gentle energy.

Lean In to What I Believe

And finally, a point that I think is important. I’m religious. Leaning into that belief of my Mahadev helps clear my mind. It helps me come to terms with the heaviness that I feel.

If you’re struggling, I feel you. I’d love to hear about what you do to protect your mental well-being. Let me know in the comments.