Love is happiness.

Love is how your eyes light up when you see your loved one. Love is when your smile reaches your eyes. Love is the satisfaction of knowing you’re appreciated & cared for. Love is the joy of sitting next to each other & not feeling the pressure of holding a conversation.

Love is also the contentment of sleeping well at night. And love is the sense of wellbeing you experience when you’re asked, “Are you feeling alright?”

Love is sadness.

But love is also a miserable state of grief. The grief that accompanies the loss of a loved one. But, at times, also without losing the loved one. Grief becomes a part of love when the latter goes unreciprocated. Or when you don’t get what you expected. The grief that makes you feel you should just vanish!

Love is hopelessness. The sense of falling apart. When you see your world, the world that you built carefully, come crashing down. The hopelessness that comes with every shrug that says, “I don’t care.” Or “Whatever!”

Love is sorrow. Those nights where you cry yourself to sleep. Or those howling sessions in the shower. The welling up of tears when you look back at old photographs & think of the ‘good, old days’. Sometimes such intense sorrow that you bottle yourself up. Go into a shell because your emotions hurt way too much to be expressed.

Love is peace.

But love is also the sense of calm you feel on a stormy day, for you know someone has your back. The harmony of looking across the room, making eye contact & knowing your loved one is thinking the same as you’re.

The quiet longing for someone who’s not here right now. At times noisy because the longing gets extended.

Love is the reconciliation after an argument. Of apologising even when you’re right. Of agreeing to not go to bed angry. Of consenting to settle matters as adults.

Love is anger.

Love is the fight on seemingly inconsequential matters. But also, the flight when matters get out of hand. A temporary flight. Because if it’s love, it brings you back. Flight to a haven where you unwind, sift the chaff from the wheat, & decide what’s to be harboured & what’s not to be.

Love is the dimming of the lights in your eyes when your loved one makes a nasty remark. Or your smile vanishing when your jokes are taken seriously. Or a frown stealing over your face when your questions are answered as if your intelligence is subpar.

Love is the changed tone when your recommendations are dismissed. The turning red of your face when you feel hopelessly misunderstood. The glare of being excluded. The sweat that accompanies an unkind word.

The hot tears of not feeling appreciated, not feeling cared for, not feeling desired, & not feeling wanted…

Love is respect.

Love is a healthy relationship. An intimacy between two consenting adults. A partnership of equals. An empowerment of one by the other – “I respect your choices.” Being included. Even if you’re different. Especially when you’re different.

Respect that accompanies equitability. “You hold this card; I’ll hold the other one.” Respect enough to educate the other without being patronising. Unflinching support. And respect enough to share resources.

Please don’t let anyone tell you love is either this or that. Don’t let anyone say love is black or white. Nobody should be fooling you that love is all sugar, spice, all things nice, fairy lights, magic & similar terms used liberally in romcoms.

So, what is love? Love is excitement, distraction, acceptance, loss, compassion, hysteria, gratitude, doubt, contentment, horror, appreciation, anxiety, cheer, panic, kindness, jealousy, gladsomeness, agony, enchantment, desperation, calm, tension, warmth, paranoia, comfort, sulkiness, hope, unhappiness, pride, ache, sexiness, defeat, surprise, loneliness, amazement, depression, determination, cowardliness, curiosity, disappointment, shyness, bitterness, nostalgia, spite…

And it ends. No, not the above list. The above list is endless. Love. Love ends. Yes, it does.

Sorry, I burst your bubble!