An Ordinary Girl

I miss my paternal grandmother – fondly called mummyji by all – everyday but today, on World Cancer Day, my longing for her becomes more pronounced. And the pain, a trifle more unbearable.

I lost my grandmother when I was a child. I’d not even touched six then. My memory of her is a little hazy but whatever I do remember is of a strong lady, much ahead of her time. I’ll, however, not dwell on that as I’ve already blogged about that.

What I do want to write about is the anguish that came with my grandma’s cancer. For a person who epitomised life itself, it was a setback to be ravaged by cancer. A woman who was on her toes for most part of her day, it was upsetting to be confined to a bed. And, a lady who liked to dress up, losing her crowning glory to treatment was a massive blow.

What my grannie felt during those months will remain a mystery because that was an age of stoicism. You smiled & bore it. Not like today where there are umpteen platforms to share your experience.

It left my family distressed too. I was too small to understand the severity but my grandfather, parents, uncles & aunts, and cousins – all bore the brunt of it. When this happened, 30 years ago, cancer treatment was not as advanced as it is today.

I’ve a vague remembrance of being in a hospital ward, most probably the Danapur Army Hospital, a few feet away from my gran. She lay in the hospital bed with doctors & family surrounding her, all discussing the treatment course. I think this was my last memory of her alive.

I asked my father to write something for World Cancer Day – as a remembrance of his mother & also in his capacity of a doctor.

Today is World Cancer Day. The word cancer, in itself, is dreadful. It becomes more devastating if it happens in your own family. My family & I went through those unforgettable months when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Dealing with cancer began with denial. Consultations, second opinions, investigations & treatments followed. Hope came & went, like day & night. Despair dawned when my mother’s condition started deteriorating.

All of us became silent spectators to the scourge of cancer. We hid our tears in front of my mother. The helplessness killed us emotionally. And just like that, I lost her – at a young age – to this disease.

Today, however, the cancer treatment scenario is optimistic.

Early diagnosis is paramount.

Scientific treatment is a must; no alternative therapies.

We are getting newer treatments, newer modalities with good success.

Having seen cancer so closely, I ardently wish no one gets this disease.

– Dr. P K Singh

Reading what he wrote, it punctured a hole in my heart. I wondered how our lives would have been if mummyji was cured or didn’t get cancer in the first place. I know, for sure, she would have been making Instagram reels! :)

:'(

I agree with my daddy. I too fervently wish no one gets this disease.