I looked around my drawing room & flushed with happiness. Thanks to the COVID-19 vaccine, I could resume my kitty parties.
I smiled at the lovely ladies & exclaimed, “I’m so glad all of us got vaccinated. We can resume our monthly parties now.”
There was a stunned silence in the room. I could feel seven pairs of eyes staring at me.
Finally, Mrs. E broke the silence & drawled, “Darrrling, do I look 45+ to you?”
Before I could answer, Ms. G called out, “Have you forgotten dear? We celebrated my 35th just recently.”
I muttered under my breath, “That was 10 years ago.”
Mrs. K cried out, “You know these Neta log. They make our lives so difficult. They forced us to part with our hidden cash first & now they want us to tell the world how old, ahem, young we are.”
Everyone tut-tutted at this.
Ms. M turned up her nose & said, “All men na! What to do? Oh, we must take out a procession about this vaccine being anti – women.”
Mrs. O bellowed at this, “In this heat? No re baba! My skin will get more wrinkles. Uhh, I mean, it’ll get wrinkles.”
Finally, Ms. Q declared, “So, none of us is eligible for the vaccination, isn’t it?”
Mrs. S looked at me with a triumphant look on her face & exclaimed, “It looks like you’re the only one who’s got the vaccine babe.”
I flicked my hair over my shoulder, crossed my legs, picked up my wine glass & replied, “Oh sweetie! Do not think I am 45+. I’m just 30 with a teeny bit of comorbidity!”
(This is a work of satire, inspired from the jokes floating on social media. It is not intended to stereotype women. This post also does not intend to promote ageism or make any sort of political commentary. Lastly, it does not intend to downplay the need to get vaccinated against COVID-19. When your time comes, take the jab!)
This piece was first published in Samvada.
