You can read Parts I & II here & here respectively.

Part III – The Second Year

From February 2018 or so, I began my job hunt. The primary reason for this was my savings depleting. I expanded my initial preference of not-for-profit/ start-ups to include corporate (as the former was not yielding results).

I excluded Gurgaon as a location as I am based in Noida. A job there meant moving to Gurgaon. But I realized that 80% of the jobs are there. So, my options became limited. Within those limited options, a number of organizations were Indian upcoming companies which have six-days’ working. I was not OK with this as I am fiercely protective about my me-time. But then this meant that my options were further curtailed.

Initially, I got calls from recruiters & companies but slowly that dried up. The few interviews I attended; my effort was with half my heart. It seemed to me that I wanted a job & yet, did not.

In one of these interviews (the last one in fact), with JACPL, I had an epiphany. I realized my heart was not in a corporate job after all. I was chasing this because (1) this was the only life I knew, & (2) this is what I saw everybody around me do. This was in the middle of the interview, & the moment this realization hit me, my mind became clearer & my heart was at peace. Stepping out of that interview, on my way home, I sobbed with relief. I decided that day that I am not returning to the corporate sector, not in an HR job for sure. This decision set me free!

Takeaway 1: A sabbatical is still viewed in a negative light. I was asked by recruiters if I was laid off. (Layoff is not negative either.) I was told in interviews I am outdated. I was told at MPSL that I should be thankful to just get a job (when I said I would want a raise from my last salary).

It took quite an effort to keep my morale high. If you are someone who gets anxious easily, then DON’T take a sabbatical. It can hit you & hurt you in places you did not even know existed.

Takeaway 2: Not getting calls was tough when your head had been high all these years owing to names like XLRI, KPMG & Vodafone on your CV. I never thought a ‘gap in CV’ can be a nightmare.

There were times when I felt completely deflated. These self-doubt moments punctured my self-confidence. There were times when I asked myself “Am I that worthless?”; then told myself “It’s just a phase”.

Having a supportive husband helped as he was the one who dealt with my mood swings & counseled me. At times, I felt selfish for burdening him with my emotions when he already had to deal with his work pressures.

So, be ready to deal with extreme emotions if, god forbid, you are not getting what you want.

Takeaway 3: Assess if you are OK living off somebody else’s expenses. Ever since I started working, I have never had to ask anyone for money. But now, with my savings gone, I’ve to shed my ego & be OK with N financing whatever I need. Not that I am a spendthrift. But the things I earlier did not have to think twice about buying, I do 10 times now. As it is not my money.

A counterargument to this can be that once married, it is a household income. But, somehow, it is unlike me to spend someone else’s money on non-essentials.

This can be seen in a positive light too. You become frugal. I adopted the principle of minimalism. Since 2018 beginning, I have bought hardly anything for personal consumption (excluding essentials). A few clothes maybe but no shoes, no bags. I feel lighter!

Takeaway 4: Be open to new experiences. I have been approached for writing or for collaborations. Given that the job scene was not working out then, I was happy to try something else. We never know what may click.

Takeaway 5: Say no carefully. I turned down a few options earlier as I was confident about getting back into the workforce when I wanted to. In hindsight, that seemed to have cost me dear. (No regret now however!) So be careful about what you want to say yes or no to.

Takeaway 6: If you are anything like me, you will probably have 10,000 thoughts simultaneously in your mind. I can think of doing a second MBA & of retiring in the Himalayas in the same breath. 😊

I suggest you write down all the thoughts that come to you. Maybe not now but later, you may want to take up those things. It will be good to not lose track of these objectives.

Takeaway 7: While I looked for a job, I also realized that getting one meant losing my freedom all over again. Be ready for that trade-off.

A sabbatical gives you a hell lot of freedom. In a day, I can choose to just sleep through the day or head out & meet people or complete an online course or whatever. A lot of folks are unable to deal with this kind of freedom as they are happier in a set routine. Evaluate that about yourself.

Takeaway 8: I am thinking… maybe a sabbatical makes more sense if you are trying to refocus your career.

Going back is difficult because well, you know, who wants to hire someone who has been out of the game, even though s/ he may be a star; an average continuously working employee is much better. (I wish slapping people was an option.)

But I am thinking, if you want to change your stream, this is a good pause to do so.

Takeaway 9: There is a lot of noise around us. In that chaos, we are unable to hear the voice of our own heart. I am glad I did. I also acknowledge that I was lucky to be able to do so. Not everyone has this choice, maybe due to financial constraints. The sabbatical has made me grateful for being able to exercise my choice & to live life on my own terms. Are there moments when I worry about money or doubt my decision? Of course! But then, I turn back to my heart…

I am glad I wrote this as it has been a catharsis for me too. I have my low moments, but I do not regret taking a sabbatical. (Can I still call it that, given I have decided to not return to the corporate sector?) Having said that, be doubly sure about your decision.

I have just penned down whatever came to me. It may read like a blabber, but I can guarantee one aspect of my writing – its honesty!