Friendships of The Year

Over the last couple of weekends, I have been lucky to witness friendship at its finest.

At N’s friend, T’s wedding, his friends perhaps numbered more than family. In a world where relationships have become transactional, it was heartening to see friends descend from all over the world to celebrate their pal’s holy matrimony.

Maybe, the incentive was free booze. But does one really travel from across the country & the world for unlimited alcohol? I do not think so.

These were friendships that have withstood the test of time. Friendships that have gone through their own tribulations. It was a great reminder that we may fight some, but with our true friends, the bond never ceases.

The second occasion was my cousin A’s silver jubilee celebration. Her school friend, with whom touch had been lost, but regained thanks to social media, had made her way here from another city. Who got emotional hearing herself being thanked for her attendance…

How many of us really bother to participate in our friends’ celebrations? We have excuses at the ready – too busy, tickets too expensive, or some crap like that.

A (& her husband V)’s office & society friends had even prepared a dance routine for the sangeet night. Office friends? This is unheard of. Society friends – even though my cousin stopped living in that society almost a decade back! If such friendships are not pure gold, I do not know what is.

The two occasions gave me an opportunity to reevaluate my friendships. Over the years, I had got into a mindset where I thought I could handle my anxieties on my own. I had forgotten how easy it becomes when you get support from a friend. Or just a shoulder to cry on. Or just an ear ready to listen.

I poured out my heart to a dear friend. That single act gave me strength to withstand more storms.

I also realized that the person standing next to us may be struggling with something, irrespective of her/ him smiling & laughing. Realized that it just takes a little show of our vulnerabilities to confirm that we are not alone. & that there are many who will hold us in our darkest hours.

When we were young, we would share everything with our friends – from lunchboxes to challenges. Why, then, did we cease to do so as the years progressed? Was it because we thought ourselves to be adult, independent & mature? Or did we think that nobody would understand our concerns? We could not be more mistaken.

Each one of us is undergoing an issue. We may be unable to resolve problems for others, but the least we can do is be there for them, maybe just to listen.

Like every relationship, friendships are neither formed overnight nor are they sustainable without effort.

I am glad for my friends – the ones who have been there for decades, & the ones I am discovering now. Glad I am ending 2019 on a note where I feel less alone. I am happy I witnessed an outpouring of affection, friendship & love over the last few days. It has made me hum –

जाने क्यूँ दिल जानता है

तू है, तो I’ll be alright!